its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
