the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
