She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
