i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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