Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I love you.
Bad choice
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
