Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
