So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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