so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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