oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
