The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
