he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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