He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
