i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
