I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize