Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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