she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
