idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think I sprained my soul last night
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
