Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
