My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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