"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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