They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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