There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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