And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
