ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
