we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
