So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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