Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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