My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
