Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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