You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
