I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
