he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
