i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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