I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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