I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She told me I should be a condom model.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize