Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Green mimosas i think yes
Did we literally take a cab across the street
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
