Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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