I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize