He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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