Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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