Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
