How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
