You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
