a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
