I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
