she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
