One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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