someone get that fucking seahorse.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize