my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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