Plan B is the new Plan A
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
are you so shy because you have an std?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
