all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
