so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize