someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
