You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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