Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
