The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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