Plan B is the new Plan A
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
