It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
