Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
