Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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