I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
