ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
