i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
