I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
