Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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