My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
